My Personal Egg Carton

So this is interesting.  I went for an egg retrieval on Monday.  Dave was with me.  I was a nervous nelly.  As old age approaches I get scared.  I was scared of that freaky chair in the OR room.  It is a chair with leg stirrups and is so secretive you can't even find a picture of it on the internet lol.  I will try and take a pic of it when I am there next.  It seemed like it took forever for us to get ready.  Lots of tubes had to be hooked up.  Blood pressure needed to be taken every few minutes.  People in and out verifying your identity.  OMG... can you image if there was an identity mix up?  I know it happens but sheesh.  I met the anesthesiologist.  We had a nice conversation but I don't remember his name.  Very pleasant.  My nurse... don't remember her name either but I suppose I could look it up.  Dr. D came in to greet me and say it is perfectly natural to be nervous.  But does he really know what I am nervous about?  I was nervous about the chair but now I am nervous about the eggs.... It's the eggs.  Does he have any idea how nervous I am about the eggs?  You see my personal egg carton is rated at <.16.  For those of you familiar with these numbers, you know that this is not good.  I was also told by a nurse that it is possible I may not have any eggs and the only way to know for sure is to go through IVF.  That was a day filled with drama when she told me that. A story we can save for another day. Needless to say, I verified later with Dr. G that it really is a matter of whether or not the egg can be retrieved.  Semantics I guess, but I like how Dr. G said it instead of the nurse.  So Dr. Anesthesia and I talked about me being in the War of the Worlds movie in Athens. I think we got on that conversation because we talked about location of where we lived.  He then showed me he was giving me antibiotics...not the doxi that I am allergic to (aka vomit on).  Then the nurse asked me to scoot down and lowered the back and we put my legs in those lovely leg stirrups.  Dr. Anesthesia then put the oxygen mask on me and next thing I know the nurse is waking me up, bringing Dave in the room suited up in surgical wear, saying we go 4 eggs.  WHAT?????

Teehee.... I HAVE EGGS?!?!  They are the bottom of the barrel but I have freakin eggs!  I am not dried up yet!!!!

To be continued....

No Turning Back NOW!!!!

Wow.... so here we are Saturday morning... pondering the next couple days events.  What to do with myself?  I most certainly have to clean up the mega dust bunnies I have floating around.  I had this conversation with one of my nurses yesterday.  How neither one of us when we get home from work, want to lift a finger and the weekends we want to relax.  Not that I was ever a clean freak but I have learned that I don't really care to be so uptight about the way my house looks.  Nor am I uptight about a lot of things.  I can't consume my brain with thoughts of being perfect or making sure everything happens perfectly.  I can't be bothered with worrying about saying the right thing to people in fear of hurting their feelings.  I can't be bothered with having unrealistic expectations they only give me anxiety.  I can only live in the here and now and take it as it comes.  I used to get very anxious about keeping up with others and their perfection.  Now thinking about it makes me nuts so I chose to think about myself enjoying where I am at instead of them and their stupid stuff.  I have learned some hard lessons about myself during this journey to have a family.  Maybe this is one of my lessons to be learned.  Perfection and image is not the key...happiness is.  With all that being said, the dust bunnies are still sitting on my floor laughing at me.  I suppose I really should clean up one or two and it is most certainly time to nest.

After the a very anxious week of finding a lump in my breast, many mammograms later and two cyst aspirations later (it ended up being benign by the way... didn't even have to send for biopsy) and worrying about mature follicles, my favorite nurse yesterday gave me some good news.  "You have 3 mature follicles....are you ready for egg retrieval on Monday?"

Holy crap!  we actually made it this far!  What a feat! For some reason I reluctantly said "Yes!" Its exciting and nerve racking all at the same time.  Last night may be the last night of injecting myself with fertility drugs.  Tonight... promptly at 9:00 pm... may be the last time I inject my HCG trigger.  Oye...  We have come this far.  No turning back now!  Two years it has been for us.  One natural year and in January will be a year with CNY.  I have no idea how the retrieval will be on Monday.  I am just very interested to see if they actually get 3 eggs and providing they do, which I am sure they will get something, that they fertilize with ease.  There is no other option really.  I am ok with doing this a couple times, after all I get 3 IVFs.  But there is a really really good chance this could work.  After careful analysis of my bloodwork, and even though I have received a better response in the past, the quality of these pups are showing through and for that I am grateful!

What a journey this is.  I have purposively chose not to publicize my journey until now.  It is kind of a private endeavor where you don't want people constantly asking if you are prego yet and where are you at with treatment and what is going on.  It just adds too much pressure.

I do personally want to thank the girls I have met on my journey.  Ummmm.... lets see, we have NoWhammies..stop!, DenverGrl, Tilly27, Clove35 and Wantour#3. Two of these gals are now prego!  So exciting!  So glad we are in this together ladies... I wouldn't have made it this far without having someone to obsess with!  I know you feel the same as we have had this conversation manytimes.

So FX for Monday!  Let just see what happens... stay tuned!  In the meantime I should clean up at least one or two bunnies... they are getting as big as Zoey!  Um ya.... and for the perfectionists out there... come to my house... I think I will leave a handful of bunnies just for you to gawk at! :)