Nope, not this time. For sure it compromised her quality of life but it certainly did not take it. I took it. I decided it was time. What a terrible choice one has to make. I cried awful that day. I had a significant meeting earlier which helped to take my mind off but when it came right down to it, I was a mess. Some of you may say, why didn't you tell me??? I really have no good answer other than those who were in contact daily knew but it was very few that did. But really it is not about you all... this time was about our family and our beautiful girl who is now an "angel flying high" as Mr. Pooter says. Yes he asks about her and no I made no bones about telling him she was sick, that later she was going to be an angel, and that now she is an angel. He may not understand the full magnitude but he understands enough. He knows she is not here. He has said to me a few times that he as seen her. There are times when you feel like sharing and times when you don't. Struggles for us can be private at times. There was much of our fertility struggles that we didn't share because we were tired of hearing, "relax it will happen" and much more. Once the feat was accomplished we felt a little better about sharing. Although that was about illness and life, sometimes death, this time it was about illness and death.
We were ever so excited about the holistic treatment. Many don't believe. I believe.... this aided in the pregnancy of our sweet Pooter. How can you deny that? And animals don't lie. Her tumor was actually shrinking! It was even noticeable by the vet. We could feel her jaw again and it was starting to dissolve under her tongue. But I literally could not get her to take the pills anymore. I remembered a dear friend whose father would turn their kitties meds into a compound. (You know who you are lol). I wanted to do that but by the time I thought of it, it was really too late. Within a couple days of stopping the pills the tumor catapulted and grew 2 fold. It was quick. She started to have difficulty getting the food in her tummy and was getting upset about it. It was decided right then and there. No more. No more cancer, no more pain, no more hunger. Just lots of love and a compassionate choice that we cannot make for our humans. Zoey crossed the bridge on March 6. So no... cancer did not win but neither did our hearts. The circle of life sucks.
So yes, if you didn't think my holistic work was nutty, here is more. Those who know me, know that I get into the spiritual world also. Taken classes for it but haven't moved forward with it due to other priorities. So I rely on others for now. Below comes from a spirit communicator. She has helped me find lost animals including the famous Izzy from years ago. Oh god was that a traumatic feat of which I am so grateful for ALL your help! I rather not go back to that horrific memory. Haunts me to this day. Sorry, I digressed. So here is what my friend told me:
"Zoey seems fine. This is what she says.
My life has been wonderful. I am happy it is over though. I was very sick and I could not eat.
My life is not over you know, the only thing that has changed is that I am not sick
When you die you do not go under, you go up into the sky and into the next world. Here is new life and new things to experience
Michele was a wonderful friend to me and I loved her."
I don't like that I am a "friend", but that is not the first animal communicator I have heard say that. Animals view things so differently than us. Just youtube "Abraham and Pets". They explain so much about pets and death. It is really quite interesting. As I write this I can feel her fur on my face. I do miss her so. Dreamt of her last night. She still hangs out on the steps going to her room upstairs. She still sleeps in our closet of which I still leave the door cracked so she can get in and out. I went to throw out her cat grass and cried. Dave convinced me to not through it out because it was a plant and should live....sigh....
Zoey ran over that bridge in seconds. She was ready.
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